Finding a lesson from a failed love
In all things you can find a lesson. I believe that is the purpose of life. I remember a time in my dating life I dated a young man in a particularly trying time in my life. I like most people had a type when it came to the type of man I was attracted to but with him I stepped out of my comfort zone.
Although the relationship was not successful he is one of the best men I have ever known. I was able to identify pretty early that he wasn’t used to dating someone like me either. He was one of the kindest, funniest, guys I ever met. He was also loving and attentive. I can now look back on the relationship with clarity and say he was also a man struggling with low self esteem. I felt like a lucky girl to have him, yet he could not understand why I was with him.
What I now know is that I you attract to you the people who are the most like you. Who you chose to love is a reflection of the condition of your heart. We came together at a time where individually we were going through a time of self discovery and some difficulties.
What I took away from that situation is that sometimes God gives you reminders, of who you are and how you need to be treated. I had met him at a time, when my own self worth and confidence was pretty shaken. I was not sure if I had the strength to try love but for the short time we dated he reminded me that not only did I deserve it, but it was perfectly fine for me to advocate for it with my partner.
One day after our relationship ended he invited me for dinner. As we sat at dinner I was finally able to ask him why some of the questions I had surrounding the abrupt ending of our relationship. He confirmed some of the concerns I shared about the relationship it became more and more obvious he just was not the man for me to begin with. He was there to teach me the lesson I needed to learn to be able to attain the kind of loving relationship I deserved.
We learn best through trial and error and although it took me a while to get over the rejection I felt at the end of relationship. I am grateful for the time he was in my life. It reminded me that I was capable of getting the kind of love that I gave out, and I think out of all that came of our situation that was the best gift.
There was a point at dinner when the question was raised about us maybe getting back together, and I was good. I didn’t need another go round to know that he would be better off with someone else. But I wouldn’t change the time we spent.
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